There is an overwhelming ache in the depths of my heart that undertones my very heartbeat - a constant reminder of its presence. The emptiness echos with every breath, haunting me with the kind of uncertainty that I've never before experienced. I have a choice, though, to give in to the depths of the unknown or return to the solid promises of a God that holds my heart tenderly in the palm of his hands.
Every morning when I wake up I fight the battle with gravity, fighting with every bit of me to resist this dark, gaping hole just inches from my feet. Every morning, I find myself in the company of an army of angels in combat for me, and I place my feet on the rug at my bedside with victory in Christ. The darkness has not won, no. But the darkness still looms.
I'm not safe inside my own head anymore. If I'm not clothed with the armor of Christ, on my A-game for every waking moment, I find myself helplessly slipping into this mental, emotional, and spiritual quicksand. Without even making the conscious decision to do so, I'm surrounded with "what-ifs," doubt, guilt, bitterness, inadequacy, narrow mindedness, sadness. I become someone I am not; the battle out of the quicksand is no longer a battle of gravity, but a war with darkness.
Spiritual warfare.
This stuff is real.
But.
What is even more real to me in this life is the purpose that I have. What is even more real to me in this life is the Jesus that I serve. What is even more real to me in this life is that Love conquers all. Sin has been atoned for. Death has been defeated. Darkness has been overcome. God is with me. God loves me. God has a plan for my life. God will never leave me. And God will NEVER lead me into quicksand. But He will always pull me out of it.
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