hourglass

Time is an element of life that's so fragile. It has it's own pace that cannot be altered, disposed of, hastened, or reversed. Time changes attitudes, appearances, and perspectives, turning boys into men and girls into steel, leaving a trail of smiles, tears, frustration, contentment, and heartache all along the way. Time, unlike most things in life, is measurable - but its results cannot be held in a box or assessed with a measuring tool. What we have become and who we choose to be is an entity of its own that is still left to be discovered. It is a mystery without solution, a race without end.
Time in and of itself is constant and eternal, though each of us are given by divine intercession a designated chunk of it to do as we please while we're on this earth. What are we doing? Of what value is the time that we've spent, the time that we're spending, and the time that we have yet to spend?

Time should be a principle of purpose and intent. Our conduct and character should reflect our respect for the hourglass and accurately represent our sentiments for it.

I've changed so much. I'm changing so much. It's only because of time that I can even acknowledge this and realize where I've been. In a matter of seconds, I can change how I feel, my attitude, my perspective, my logic.. and in the moment of what then becomes my present, I can so freely look behind me at what has passed and see who I used to be. In that same moment I can gaze ahead of me in sheer blindness at my future, breathing in the magnitude of the road in front of me that has yet to be traveled, trusting my savior to lead me to the beautiful unveiling of his will for my life. It's then, and only then, do I realize that time is only constant because it is orchestrated by the power of God's infinitely perfect hand, and in his time alone will I even think to move forward and embrace the true meaning of my life.

I look back at how I perceived time as a "child" and I find that yes, I valued time. But with what standard of value? I surely wasn't focused on the good and pleasing timing of God. I was overwhelmed with viewing time as an obstacle - the objective to adequately make it through one more series of 24 hours. I would push through the days just fighting for the day that I got my break.. that far off day in the future that was surely awaiting me. I would stumble forward with arms stretched out in front of me, waiting to cling to relief.. but it was never there. Why? I was running at my own pace and holding on to empty things full of nothing but more emptiness. I realize now that God has an intricate and beautiful design for the time spent in my life, and I've just wasted so much of it trying to listen to my own logic and justifications for what I was doing on my own - hearing my own stubborn independence biting at my heels telling me to move forward with immortal strength and valor. What. Was. That? Empty. Failure. Disappointment.

I'm done with that. I made up my mind to finally believe that this time isn't mine. It's God's. He's so graciously bestowed it upon me to be a soldier of the Almighty, clinging to him and his insurmountable perfection. Why wouldn't I want to follow that? It's flawless.

Everyday I fall deeper and deeper in love with my savior. I look forward to time spent together to hear his voice and feel his gentle direction telling me, "This is the way. Walk in it."

I may never get to that desired "break" from struggle in this lifetime, the point of refuge and relief, but I'll find it sooner or later on the streets of gold. We were never promised a life of simplicity and ease, but we were promised unconditional love and an eternity of forgiveness, grace, and mercy. We're given the honor of serving the Lord for a lifetime and beyond.. and what an honor that is. What a way to spend time.

Until I get to that place of rest, whether in my time on earth or in my days spent with my Jesus, I'll harvest every ounce of joy and happiness in my heart, pack every smile and comforting hand in my soul, and hold those whom I love close to me always.

Our time does not belong to us. My time is not mine. My time is the Lord's, and I will do with it what pleases him forever and ever. I'll work as I wait to serve his great kingdom and wait for his divine direction for my life - no more chasing emptiness. My fountains are in Christ alone.



.